


Undeniable

by Halsteadpd



Category: Chicago PD (TV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-24
Updated: 2018-09-23
Packaged: 2019-07-16 07:59:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 23,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16081865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Halsteadpd/pseuds/Halsteadpd





	1. Chapter 1

A/N: Yes, I know I have like a million stories in progress and a few requests yet I won't write them. However, this is a request from anon on my tumblr from a while ago. I'm hoping it helps me find motivation for my other stories but I've been excited for this for a while. As always, enjoy (and leave reviews writers are struggling in our dwindling fandom).

Special thanks to quesera1 for helping edit this story :)

"Okay boys, do you have everything?" Erin Lindsay secured her badge and gun to her waistband before turning around to face her identical twin sons—Jackson and Cameron. "Backpacks?"

"Check!" Both boys replied as they stood ready at the door. They lived in a three bedroom condo alongside the river on the fifteenth floor. It had been a wedding gift from Voight and at the time, Erin was reluctant to accept such an extravagant gift from her pseudo-father.

"Kid, I'm happy for you. I remember when you first came to live with us and you were 100% set on not getting married. Now look at you. Soon-to-be married and soon-to-be mother."

"I know, it's just, this is big. There's no way we can accept this." Erin walked around the apartment, marvelling at the dark hardwood and the sight of the Chicago River from the floor to ceiling windows. "This is too big of a gift."

"Listen, Camille told me to wait until now to tell you this. But when she died, she made me promise that when you found a man, that I would buy you somewhere to live. Where you wouldn't have to worry about finances. It's all she wanted me to do. She wanted to see you get married, have children that she could spoil, and when she realized she wouldn't be around for that kind of stuff, she insisted that this would be a present from us—from her."

Tears welled in Erin's eyes that she stubbornly didn't let fall before accepting the open embrace from Voight.

"Lunch?"

"Check!"

"Apples?"

"Check!" Both Jackson and Cameron held out the bright red apples in their hands that they wanted to give to their teacher. Erin thought it had been cliche but after seeing it in a movie the boys were adamant they had to give their teacher an apple on the first day of school.

"Okay, then. Let's get you two to school!" Erin replied excitedly as she grabbed her keys off the counter and opened the front door. She checked the lock before walking behind the boys towards the elevator, letting one of them to push the button to signal it. Voight had offered to help her get the boys and ready for their first day of Kindergarten—concerned that the excitement of the first day would stress her out—but she declined. She was expecting the boys' father to accompany her to drop off, but he was pulled into work at the last minute and he promised he would see them as soon as possible.

As they arrived outside of the Hawthorne Scholastic Academy, Erin parked the car on the street intended for drop off before opening the back door to let the boys out. Compared to Jackson and Cameron—who were buzzing with excitement—Erin was incredibly nervous. Maybe she should've asked Voight to come after all.

Her little boys were growing up and starting school. And that made her scared for some reason. It must've been the instant realization that they were getting more independent by the day, and one day they wouldn't need her.

Pushing those thoughts out of her head, she opened the front door and motioned for the boys to go in. They made their way over to where the kindergarten class was located and waited alongside all the other families anxious to meet the teacher and to get the day started.

Erin observed the people in the hallway. Parents stood around, some moms fixing their child's hair or straightening their jacket. There were two men in the corner holding their daughter's hands, reassuring her that everything would be fine and that both of them would be there to pick her up after school was done. One dad had lifted his son into his arms and kissed his cheek, telling him that he loved him. Erin sadly looked down at her boys and thought about how they would've been able to have the same relationship with their father, if she didn't mess it all up. Sure, he loved them just as much as she did, but she feels like she took an important relationship away from Jackson and Cameron. And that's something she will never forgive herself for.

Erin's thoughts are interrupted when the door to the classroom opens and the teacher walks out. She peeks down to her sons and squeezes their hands in her own. When they look up at her with now anxious filled blue eyes, she gives them a reassuring smile before returning her attention to the teacher.

His back is currently turned to her but he is making an effort of talking to all the parents, turning his head and making eye contact. He instructs parents to help their child find their hooks and to hang their backpacks and coats there before saying goodbye and having the kids go into the class to get ready for their first day.

As soon as he finishes speaking, all the parents and children do as they are told. The hooks are located in alphabetical order so Erin looks closer towards the end of the wall. Cameron's name came first and was right next to Jackson's. She helped both boys hang their bags on the lower hook before draping their coats onto the top hook and led them towards to door. All three had become incredibly anxious as the time to separate neared.

They waited behind other parents that spoke to the teacher and when they were next in line, Erin told the both of them she loved them and hoped that she would be able to pick them up. If not, someone from the district would come by and take them for a snack before they would see each other again.

"You're gonna have so much fun! You'll learn so much and there's a whole class full of kids that will soon be your friends. You two will do great!" Erin kissed each of their cheeks again before standing up from her squatted position and motioning them to go inside.

"It'll get easier, trust me. First day is always the worst." The teacher's voice came from next to her as she watched Jackson and Cameron make their way towards the carpet area, sitting down next to each other amongst the other kids.

"Yeah, it doesn't feel like that." Erin turned her gaze from the boys over to their teacher as she spoke to him.

"Well, they'll be safe with me, you have my word." He extended his hand towards Erin before introducing himself. "I'm Jay Halstead."

Please Review :)


	2. Chapter 2

Another special thanks to quesera1 for editing :)

X

"Well, they'll be safe with me, you have my word." The teacher extended his hand towards Erin before introducing himself. "I'm Jay Halstead."

His eyes were the colour of the ocean; a blue-green that had sucked her in, in an electrifying way. Her mouth dried up as she took in his scruff and the freckles littered across his nose and cheeks. She felt like a teenager again—the way the butterflies excited her stomach and how her mind travelled at a million miles a second at the thought of the possibilities.

When she reached out for his hand, she was surprised to feel the softness of his skin. It was calloused in some parts—likely from the gym because he was wearing the hell out of that navy blue polo shirt.

"Erin Lindsay." Her voice sounded choked up and raspier than usual and she cursed herself in her mind for letting him have that effect on her.

"If I can be completely honest with you, it's going to take me a while to learn which kid is which." Jay said as he turned his attention towards the boys in the classroom. "This is actually the first time I get to have twins in my class."

"Well don't let their cute faces fool you. They'll smile and pretend everything is fine seconds before all hell breaks loose."

Jay chuckled before speaking. "Note taken. Well Erin, I guess I'll see you at pick-up later today?"

"Yeah...I'll see you then." Erin smiled before turning around and walking towards the exit, her mind replaying the conversation she just had with Jay Halstead.

In this moment, she knew what it felt like to be completely screwed.

There's no way he had a chance with her. She had two kids—that he knows of. Her ring finger was bare but there was no possible way that she wasn't seeing someone, she was absolutely gorgeous. Her jeans hugged her legs right and her top showed just enough cleavage to be professional.

He couldn't date a parent of two of his students.

Pushing the thoughts of her aside to the best of his ability, Jay walked into his classroom and sat down in the chair by the carpet. He looked around at his new students for the year and saw the familiar emotions of everyone's first day. Some kids were smiling—excited to be starting school—while others sat quietly, undoubtedly nervous to be away from their parents.

His eyes fell on the twin boys sitting at the back right corner of the carpet, and their blue eyes and brown hair remind him of Erin.

There's no way he could forget her, even if he tried.

He introduced himself as Mr. Halstead, but he usually went by Mr. H. He never thought he had a difficult name to pronounce until he taught his first Kindergarten class. He had to admit, seeing the kids trying—and ultimately failing—to pronounce his name correctly was one of the cutest things he had ever seen.

The first day always started with an activity of learning everyone's name. He did it as he took attendance—he would call out a name and that kid would tell the class a fun fact about themselves.

As soon as he finished attendance, he chose two special helpers everyday to help him take the attendance sheet down to the office which was consequently across from his room. It allowed him to spend some two-on-one time with a couple students every day as the secretary at the office inputted everything into the computer. He got to hear things about what his students did after school and what kind of things they liked in general. Although this time was short, it was still one of his favourite times of the day.

While he was gone, the rest of the students were to do some quiet activities—either looking at books or drawing and colouring. A few times, Jay had come back to a classroom in absolute chaos, and time outs were given out. Thankfully, that didn't happen often.

The first day he tried to keep all the kids busy—hopefully keeping the separation anxiety at bay, but there would always be a couple of kids he would need to comfort throughout the day.

He saw a little girl at the Play-Doh table just sitting there and looking around at all the other kids laughing and making shapes out of their dough. She didn't look too comfortable and his heart broke when he saw tears pooling in her eyes.

"Everything okay, sweetheart?" He asked as he approached the table and squatted down next to her. When she didn't acknowledge his presence, he attempted to shift her attention back towards her activity. "How about we try to make different kinds of fruit with your Play-Doh?" He took pride when he saw a small smile on her face as he grabbed a small cutting tool and watched her flatten out the dough. "What kinds of fruits are yellow?"

"Bananas." She replied somewhat enthusiastically.

"Yes, good job! Let's see if we can cut out a banana shape, hm?" He handed the little girl the tool and watched her attempt to carve a curved shape out. When she was done, he instructed her to remove the excess Play-Doh. "Nice job! Okay, how about you try to make more fruit with different colours? I'll be back soon to check it out okay." As Jay stood up, he looked around at his classroom and watched the kids playing with each other.

He smiled at the group of kids playing in the tiny kitchen—two of the kids played the parental role and had four children. Another small group played with the blocks on the carpet while some kids put together puzzles on the linoleum floor. Jay frowned when he noticed Jackson and Cameron alone by the books—not around anyone else in the class.

"Hey guys, don't you want to play with anyone else?"

"No...we don't know anyone here." Jackson replied before looking at his book again.

"Well don't you want to try and make some new friends? I know your mommy told you that you'd make lots!"

"Yeah, I guess so." Cameron said as he looked over to the group of boys playing with toy firetrucks and police cars.

"Cameron, maybe you should go over there and ask if you can play? I see you like the police car." Jay suggested as he followed the little boy's line of sight.

"It's just like the one Mommy sometimes drives!"

"Your mommy is a cop?" Jay asked, almost surprised. He knew he shouldn't be getting personal information through his students about their parents. Especially when their parent is Erin Lindsay. The most beautiful woman in the world. But a few details couldn't hurt. It's not like he was fantasizing about dating the woman. Nope. Never in a million years would he think about that.

I wonder if she likes The Purple Pig.

"Wow! That's pretty cool huh? Well how about you go and join the kids with the cars then?"

"Yeah...okay." Jay watched as Cameron reluctantly made his way over towards the other kids and sat down. "Don't you want to join him, Jackson?"

"No, I just wanna look at books by myself."

"I'll be back to check on you later then, okay? We'll be going outside for recess soon."

"'kay."

About fifteen minutes later, Jay had all the kids clean up their activities before meeting at the carpet for their next instructions. It was time for one of the more hectic times in Jay's day—bathroom and recess time. Trying to coordinate all the kids to get their outdoor shoes and jackets on while making sure every kid went to the bathroom could get confusing with a bunch of five-year-olds. There was generally a lot of excitement of going outside to play and the process of making sure every kid is ready to go was quite overwhelming.

"When we go outside, I want everyone to stay on either the playground or the soccer field so I can see everybody. When it's time to come inside, I'm going to blow my whistle three times and everyone's going to line up with me." He would hold the door open and double check that he had every kid by counting numbers before closing the door again.

Recess was soon succeeded by lunch, and afternoons generally passed quickly with gym class, reading and learning time at the carpet and packing everything up for home time. Jay didn't want to admit how excited he was to see Erin. Her dimpled cheeks and hazel eyes never left his mind. And as the time for the bell to ring neared, his heart started to beat faster.

Get a grip, dude.

She had barely spoken to him and had likely gone about her day without any second thoughts that revolved around him, yet he spent his entire day thinking about her.

When the bell eventually rang, Jay opened the door, allowing his students to run out and greet their parents. His face fell when he didn't immediately spot Erin, and his stomach lurched when he saw who the twins ran to.

"Grandpa!" Both Jackson and Cameron launched themselves into the older gentleman's outstretched arms, clinging to him. "Where's Mommy?"

"Mommy is still working, so she sent me to pick up my two favourite grandsons." Voight placed a kiss on both twins' cheeks. "Okay boys, go get your coats and bags on so we can get out of here and get some burgers." Hank walked hand-in-hand with his grandsons, oblivious to the inner panic going on in Jay's mind. He could faintly hear the boys talking about their day over the other kids around him but all he could think about was the man picking up Erin's kids.

The man the kids called Grandpa.

And Grandpa had a gun.

It was in that moment that Jay realized any ounce of a chance he had just flew out of the window.

"You okay? You seem kinda smiley today." Will Halstead nursed his second beer as he and his brother sat at the bar down the street from their shared apartment. "Had a good day?"

"Yeah, you could say that." Jay took a long drag of his own beer before speaking again. "First day is always… interesting."

"So what happened today?"

"Not what, who." Will furrowed his brows at his brother's vague statement. "So at drop-off this morning, there was this mom…"

"Oh boy."

"Wait, you don't understand. She was beautiful. I mean, my jaw dropped at the sight of her."

"Well if she was at drop-off, I'm assuming she had her kid with her?"

"Kids, she has twins."

"Even worse." Jay shot Will a disapproving look. "I just mean it's tough with kids. Why I'm not a paediatrician."

"You didn't seem to mind when Nat was pregnant. And you really didn't seem to mind when you bought said kid that truck last week." Jay retorted.

"Well that's different. I'm not Owen's teacher."

"Yeah...that's the issue. It'd be completely inappropriate and unprofessional to date her. If she was even available. I mean, I haven't seen the father yet, but he's probably in the picture." Jay stared into the distance before taking another sip of his beverage. "I've got no chance."

Please Review, it definitely helps :)


	3. Chapter 3

Erin couldn't get him off her mind all day. She watched him give her a once over before they shook hands. She was used to that look. Not a lot of mothers had a figure like hers after giving birth—especially to twins. But her job demanded physical fitness and after a lot of pain and struggle, Erin finally got to a point where she was satisfied and healthy for her job.

It was as if a ghost-like feeling of his larger hand was still hugging her own. She tried multiple times to get the feeling to go away—she stretched out her hand, shook it around—but nothing. It was as if the feeling of his skin on her own would never go away.

While the team worked on a busy case, her mind drifted to her boys—and consequently—him. She caught herself a few times tuning Voight out as he spoke and gave instructions to the team, the image of the small curls in his hair and his lopsided grin would pull her own mouth into a smile.

Even his voice dripped like honey. It was deep, but not too deep and for some reason, Erin felt intoxicated as he spoke. She could listen to his voice all day.

Towards the end of the school day, Erin was disappointed when she realized that she wouldn't be able to pick the boys up. She was buried in a mountain of paperwork—some from previous cases that really needed to get done.

Her next meeting with Jay Halstead would just have to wait.

The next morning, Erin got up extra early. She never got up early. Getting out of bed before six was unheard of, unless a phone call from Voight forced her out of the cozy confines of her comforter and pillows.

Luckily for her, the boys also inherited her sleeping habits. The only early morning interruptions she would get from them would be when they launched themselves into her bed—cuddling on either side of her—and soon falling asleep again.

But not today.

Erin took her time in the shower, letting the hot water pour down her body. When her fingers began to prune, she stepped out and was overcome with shivers from the change in temperature.

After wiping the mirror with her hand, she grabbed her comb and ran it through her wet locks, ensuring to get out any tangles. She wrapped her towel around her body before making her way into her closet to pick out her outfit for the day. It had to be professional, but enough to catch Jay's eye; enough to make his eyes do that once over of her again.

She chose her signature red leather jacket, a white v-neck and black jeans to accompany her black work boots just as she heard the boys waking up and running towards her bedroom.

"Mommy!" Jackson came running into the closet just as she pulled on her jacket and hugged her legs. Cameron followed closely behind.

"Good morning, boys. How'd you sleep?" Erin bent down and gave each of them a hug and kiss before standing up again.

"Good, can we go eat breakfast? I want some Lucky Charms." Cameron held onto one of Erin's hands and Jackson held onto the other before leading her out towards the kitchen.

Erin smiled at the sight. The one thing the boys definitely inherited from their father was his appetite.

"Okay guys, you two eat and I'm going to go finish getting ready. We don't want to be late for school."

"Mr. H says it's not nice to be late unless you have a 'mergency."

At the thought of Jay, Erin could feel heat rising in her cheeks and was glad that there was nobody else around to notice. The twins were preoccupied with their breakfast and they likely wouldn't notice the smile forming on her lips at his name.

Erin quickly dried her hair before curling it, letting it fall over her shoulders effortlessly. She applied minimal makeup before giving herself a once over, fixing anything that looked out of line. Once she was satisfied, she returned to the kitchen to get the boys ready for their day.

He did some thinking after getting home from the bar. Will was right. He couldn't date a parent, there was no way possible he could take care of her kids. Sure, he was around five-year-olds for most of his day, but it was different when you have to live with them. It was completely unprofessional. He needed to keep his distance from her.

Jay tossed and turned in his bed that night trying to avoid the thoughts and images of Erin Lindsay creeping up in his mind. He felt like he barely slept when his alarm broke him out of a very lusty dream the next morning. His sheets were soaked with sweat and he couldn't help but notice the tented shape underneath his blanket.

After relieving himself of the built up pressure, Jay slowly made his way to the shower and turned the water to cold. He quickly washed his hair and lathered his body in soap before tying his towel around his waist. As he rummaged through his closet looking for his planned outfit of the day, he realized he left it on the ironing board down the hall.

"You're getting water all over the floors…you know, you could use that towel to dry off before walking around." Will Halstead made his way out of his bedroom—dressed in his scrubs—only to frown and lecture his little brother on his annoying habit.

"Yes, but even if I don't dry myself, I'll air dry. That way I can get other things done."

"You're gonna be the one who pays when we get mold under the floors then." Will grumbled.

"Shouldn't you be at work or something right now? You're late." Jay retorted back as he emerged from the laundry room.

"Well, yeah. I kinda...slept in." As Will finished speaking, a short girl came out of his room with a sly grin on her face. Jay tried to keep a straight face as he noticed the pink blush creeping up on his brother's cheeks. "Paige, this is my brother Jay. Jay, Paige."

"How do you do." Jay reached out his hand and shook Paige's hand.

"Hm." Paige stood at Will's side as she did a once over of the water dripping down Jay's chiseled body. "Looks like I fucked the wrong brother." She licked her lips before walking towards the front door with an extra swing in her hips. Just before closing the door behind her, she winked at Jay. "Call me."

"So, uh, what happened to Nat?" Jay smirked as he returned his attention to Will.

"She's got her walls built up. She thought it was getting too serious and Owen is young and she doesn't want to confuse him. Wants to take a 'break'."

"So you have sex with some random girl…?"

"Whatever, I'm late for work, try not to hit on any hot moms today!" Will called over his shoulder as he made his way towards his stuff on the counter by the door.

Jay rolled his eyes before returning to his room to get dressed. He pulled on a black t shirt under a blue flannel before putting on dark jeans. Deciding to forgo contacts, he removed his glasses from the case and inspected them from any dirts or smudges before resting them over his ears. After doing a once over of himself, he grabbed his stuff and walked out the door.

Ten minutes before class began, Jay could hear the voices of his excited students wanting to get their day started. It brought a smile to his face knowing that he could provide a safe and fun environment for kids, it was one of the main reasons he became a teacher. He grabbed his cup of coffee before making his way over to the door and opening it.

He smiled at all the parents and students already there before scanning the crowd for one person.

No. Don't do this to yourself. You can't.

"Hi Mr. H!" Katie and Madison—two of his students—greeted him as they made their way into the classroom.

"Good morning girls, go take a seat at the carpet please."

When he turned his attention away from the girls, his eyes immediately fell on her.

She looked even more beautiful than yesterday, if that was even possible. She was bent over talking to Jackson and the white v neck she wore fell slightly, giving him a great view down her shirt. She was wearing this burgundy leather jacket that complemented her skin tone and the blush she wore on her cheeks. She didn't notice him yet—she was busy with the boys, making sure they were ready for the day. Jay couldn't help but think how great she looked in anything she wore. She could even pull off wearing nothing.

Yeah, nothing was good too. Great actually.

Get your mind out of the gutter, Halstead. Keep your distance from her.

When she straightened her posture, their eyes met. Erin felt that electricity go through her again and Jay failed at keeping other thoughts out of his mind. He quickly looked away to greet other students making their way into the classroom, occasionally taking sips of his coffee.

Erin kissed both boys goodbye and watched them make their way into the classroom, stopping only to give a high-five to their teacher. She was ready to turn around and leave but her gaze caught his, and they gave each other a small smile before being interrupted by the bell.

Seriously, what is in this guy's food?! He was wearing this blue plaid shirt that moved with him to show off all his upper body muscles and his black jeans gave Erin a very nice view of his sculpted ass.

And he's wearing glasses.

He was leaning against his door with a cup of coffee in his hand and it takes a lot of self control for Erin to not launch herself at him and smack her lips on his.

Focus Lindsay.

Instead of looking at Mr. McDreamy, Erin focused all her attention on the twins. She instructed them to hang their backpacks and coats on the hooks before changing their outdoor shoes to their indoor shoes. Jackson was speaking to her in a very hushed tone so she had to bend down to speak to him.

At least it was a distraction.

When the boys were ready, Erin walked them over to the door where she was forced to look at him all over again. He gave her this little smirk that made her weak in the knees and it forced a warm feeling in the lower part of her stomach.

She needed to get out of there.

When she saw that the boys were settled on the carpet, she turned away, not looking back.

At the end of a slow passing day, Jay was exhausted. All he wanted to do was go home and crash face first into his pillow. But first, he had to survive pick-up. Erin didn't come the day before, so he wasn't expecting to see her, but he especially didn't want to see 'Grandpa' again. Tiredly, Jay ran his hand down his face as the bell rang for dismissal. His eyes searched the many faces of parents excited to see their child after a long day. However, when Jay didn't see Erin or 'Grandpa,' his brows furrowed. Until he heard the word 'Daddy' uttered from the twins' mouths. They ran over with their arms outstretched to a man with salt and pepper hair. He looked quite fit and muscular and as he held both boys in his arms, Jay noticed "SQUAD" stitched in yellow on the back of his jacket.

So this was the father.

Please Review! :)


	4. Chapter 4

This whole chapter is a flashback

Special thanks to quesera1 for editing/motivating my ass to write this chapter.

They met through friends at work. Her partner's sister—Gabby Dawson—owned the bar that he frequented. It was a Friday night and Erin was having girls' night out with some of her colleagues.

They were tipsy.

Okay, maybe more than tipsy.

There was an attractive man with curly salt and pepper hair and killer blue eyes smiling over at them—more specifically, at her. He wore a black t-shirt with a black leather jacket over top, but from Erin's vantage point she could still see how muscular he was.

When she left the bar, he was the only thing on her mind. The group of girls were forced to walk by him on their way out and he smiled warmly at her, making her insides melt. He seemed friendly, there was a lot of people surrounding him and they all looked like they were having a good time. It had been a while since Erin laughed like that. Sure, spending time with the girls took her mind off things, but there was still pain behind every smile and laugh.

The girls stood outside in the warm summer air waiting on a cab. It was dark—unsafe—for drunk girls to be out, but the bar had gotten too crowded for their liking so they called it a night. The wooden door opened as they waited and Erin smiled as she noticed who walked out.

"Hey, you headed home?" The man with lots of friends walked over to her, smiling.

"Yeah, just waiting on a cab." Erin replied, trying to hide the blush coming onto her cheeks. Okay, she had to admit, he was hot.

"Well how about I give you a ride home? It'll be no trouble at all, my car is parked over there." She followed his thumb pointing over to a Camaro parked on the other side of the street.

"I'm just curious, how many drinks have you had tonight Mr…"

"Severide. Kelly Severide. I've had two beers, that's it, and I've been sipping Pepsi for the last bit. I'm not one for getting wasted and driving. Would be out of a job—I'm a firefighter."

He was charming, she had to admit it, but there was an underlying force telling her that he was trouble; that he would just break her heart in the end.

"Well, not only would you be out of a job, but I'd have to arrest you too." Erin replied with a smirk on her face. "A DUI isn't exactly appealing to a girl."

"Well in that case, it's your lucky day." Erin raised her eyebrows in surprise at his confidence. "You can test my blood alcohol level, officer."

"It's detective actually."

"Well if you don't want to get in my car with me, how about we split fare?"

"You don't even know where I live, it could be in an entirely different direction."

"Well how about a name and a phone number then? Maybe another time?"

Erin had to admit this guy—Kelly—was persistent. She smiled before rolling her eyes and sticking out her hand. When she gave him back his phone, she held her hand out towards him. He reciprocated the action smiling. "Erin Lindsay."

"Well Erin, I hope we'll see each other again soon." Kelly turned away before walking over to his car. She watched him pull out and drive away before returning her attention to her girlfriends.

"What?" She asked as she saw them all trying to hide smiles.

"Oh nothing." Kim Burgess replied as she looked over to the other girls, giggling.

"Spit it out, guys."

"He's insanely hot, Erin. And you gave him your phone number." Nadia Decotis gushed.

"Careful though, he's got a track record of one night stands." Sylvie Brett mentioned. "He's notoriously known for that down at the firehouse."

"Wait you work with him?! Why didn't you say anything?"

"Well this was your first time to the bar and you looked like you were having fun. After everything that's happened, I just wanted you to relax a bit." Sylvie said sincerely. "You seemed like your old self again for those few minutes."

Erin considered her friends' words as the cab pulled up. They were right. After that day, it felt like there was a dark cloud encompassing her—swallowing her whole. This was the first night in months that she wasn't wallowing over that day. She felt fresh. She felt like a new person.

Maybe trying to be happy again wouldn't be too bad. He was nice.

At around midnight, Erin crossed the threshold of her apartment and kicked off her heels. She hated wearing heels. They always made her feet ache and she didn't have anyone around to give her foot rubs on command. She dropped her purse on the counter before grabbing a glass from one of the cabinets to get some water. As she stood leaning against the countertop, she heard her phone buzz from inside her purse. A smile ghosted on her lips when she read the screen.

K: Hey, it's Kelly. :)

Man got around quick. Erin put down her glass before replying.

E: Wow, desperate much? ;)

K: Not desperate, just want to take a beautiful woman out on a date. Did you get home safe?

E: I did. And do you have anyone in mind?

K: You're funny… so would you like to go out sometime?

Erin thought about Sylvie's words from earlier. It couldn't hurt to go out on a date. And she could totally leave the guy behind if she wanted to—she was known for that.

E: Sure, when and where?

It took longer for him to reply this time and she knew he was thinking about his next response. She made her way to her bedroom to get undressed and wash her face from the day. Throwing her phone onto the bed, she unzipped her dress, letting it pool at her feet. She removed her bra and threw on her previously discarded t-shirt and shorts before making her way into the bathroom. By the time she got settled in bed and checked her phone, she had another text from Kelly.

K: Tomorrow night? You pick the place?

E: How about Molly's again? 8?

K: Perfect, where should I pick you up?

E: Can we just meet there?

K: Of course :)

Erin plugged her phone in before leaving it on her bedside table as she snuggled under the sheets. She felt giddy. A man had never had that effect on her. Maybe it was because this would be her first real date in over a year and the thought of what could happen was exhilarating. Whatever it was, Erin liked the buzzed feeling she got which definitely wasn't from the alcohol.

The next evening came quickly, and before she knew it, Erin was standing in front of her closet trying to find something to wear. Nothing was right. A dress felt too formal and jeans seemed too casual. She got a new top the other day but didn't feel like wearing it. She simply had nothing to wear.

As she checked the time on her phone, Erin realized she needed to pick out an outfit fast. He couldn't possibly care what she wore and she wasn't exactly thinking this was a date. They were just going out for drinks. Maybe she wouldn't even ever see him again after tonight. There were hundreds of other bars in the city to go to.

Erin made her way back to her closet and released a deep breath. Rummaging through her shirts she found a simple white t-shirt with a deep v-neck, grabbed a pair of dark jeans and finally pulled on her boots. She topped it off with her favourite red leather jacket as she walked towards her front door, closing it shut.

When she got to the bar, she noticed that Kelly was already there judging by his car outside. Making her way through the door, she immediately noticed him sitting on one of the bar stools with a half drunk bottle in his hand.

"Hey." She greeted, as she watched his eyes light up with joy. "You're early."

"Yeah, I'm always here to be honest with you. I hope that doesn't make me sound like an alcoholic loser." Kelly smiled sheepishly.

"No, not at all." Erin replied reassuringly. "How was your day?"

"It was good, I worked so the day went by quickly, you?"

"Working on the weekends is the worst, luckily I got the day at home today. Although I nursed a bit of a hangover earlier." Erin grabbed the beer bottle that seemed to appear out of thin air in front of her before taking a sip.

"You're such a lightweight. You were barely drunk last night." Kelly teased.

The alcohol flowed freely as the two talked about things ranging from work to their personal lives to things as mundane as favourites in their life. They were oblivious to everything around them and before they knew it, the bar around them had started to empty out and Gabby was going around and cleaning the place up.

"Hey, uh, how about we take this back to my place?" Kelly asked, a hint of some blush colouring his cheeks. "You're too intoxicated to drive and I don't want you taking a cab on your own."

"Well, you could just sit in the cab with me and drop me off at my place." Erin retorted with a smile—she was way more drunk than the night before. There was just something about Kelly that made her want to drink—in a good way of course. "Don't think I don't know your intentions Mr. Firefighter."

"And what do you believe my intentions are?" Kelly raised his brow as he questioned her with a smile on his face.

Erin smirked and leaned in close, her tongue sneaking out as she teased the skin around his ear. "Sex."

"Well aren't you a great detective? How about we grab a couple of water bottles and head out then? Let me just pay the tab."

Erin watched him make his way towards Herrmann with a smile on her face. She felt light. It felt like forever since she last felt this happy. There was a nice man in her life that seemed patient and liked her for who she was—she didn't want to scare him away.

She smiled at him as she pulled on her jacket, following him out of the bar. They waited in the somewhat chilly air for a cab to take them back to his place. The cab ride to his place was short and quiet, he held onto her hand the whole way, rubbing his thumb softly over her knuckles. He quickly paid the cab driver and took her up to his apartment before ridding himself of his jacket.

"So…" Kelly started, rubbing the back of his neck subconsciously. "Did you want to, like right now? Or what? We're both drunk so I don't want to force you into anything."

"Could we just sit for a bit? My head is spinning." Erin swayed on her feet, not waiting for his answer before collapsing on his couch.

"No worries, I'm going to go grab you some more water." Erin watched as Kelly left the living room for a couple of minutes before bringing her back a tall glass of water and some aspirin. "Hopefully you can get a little bit ahead of the headache you'll have in the morning."

Erin sat up and swallowed the pills gratefully. "Hey, I had a really great time tonight. Thanks for being so persistent with me. It's been a while since I laughed like that and forgot about everything."

"Everything?" Kelly questioned.

"Yeah… it's just that, my mom isn't the greatest of parents to say it lightly." Erin huffed out a loud exhale. "She's an addict." She knew the alcohol coursing through her veins was giving her the courage to speak about the constant problem in her life—it was never like her to let anyone glimpse into this part of her.

"Hey, don't worry about it. You're not the only one with parental problems. If you want to get anything off your chest, you can. There's no judgement from me."

She laid down on his couch with her head in his lap as he softly stroked her hair. She allowed him some insight into what her childhood was like and how her mother dropped by on her doorstep a couple of months ago—strung out and crazy like always—demanding money. She gave into it to quiet her down so that her neighbours didn't have to witness the scene but when Bunny kept coming back for more, Erin knew that she was going to be a problem. She told Voight who seemed to have a handle on the issue, but it still took a mental toll on her. What kind of daughter snubs her own mother? Tears silently made their way out of Erin's eyes as she cried herself to sleep in Kelly's arms and when she woke up the next morning to see his smiling face, she knew that he wouldn't be the one breaking her heart if they didn't work out in the end.

They saw each other a lot after that. It was generally for drinks or going to the movies—as friends, but soon enough, Erin was falling for him. Hard. She confessed that to him one night over takeout in front of his TV. He was in the middle of eating a spring roll and when she told him, she swore she had never seen him happier (even when he almost choked on the spring roll).

They were serious, but kept it fun. They never labelled the relationship even though everyone knew they were dating. It only took them a couple of weeks to make it official—they both clicked with each other easily and there were only laughed when they were in each other's presence. Everything was perfect.

Until that day.


	5. Chapter 5

This ended up being longer than I anticipated, regardless, enjoy flashback part 2. :)

Thanks to quesera1 for editing :)

The sky opened up as the casket was lowered down. The pathetic fallacy of the situation was not lost to Erin—but it was all her fault. Why didn't she stop her? Why didn't she stop her best friend from doing something she wouldn't have even liked in the end? It wasn't even going to be a surprise.

There would be no gravestone to visit for a few months—unexpected deaths meant that there would be a wait time for when they could have one ready. There would be no gravestone for Erin to sit against and talk about memories; there would be no gravestone to lie flowers against; and there would be no gravestone to wipe the accumulating dust and dirt from the time of past visits.

She felt Kelly's warm hand squeezing hers—reassuring her that he was there. He had been doing that a lot the last couple of days. His hugs felt like he was trying to put her broken pieces back together but when he would pull away, she would just break apart all over again. He rubbed soothing circles on the skin of her lower back every night, hoping to lull her into a restful slumber. But her mind was always plagued with thoughts of how painful a death her best friend must have had. She constantly had nightmares of her calling out her name. Erin! Erin, help me please! But Erin couldn't help. She couldn't help because she was out in the city with her boyfriend that night and failed to hear any of the phone calls coming from inside her purse.

She didn't die right away though. She must've suffered. She must've felt pain coursing through every fibre of her body. The extraction process took a couple of hours, and her pulse was weak when they loaded her into the ambulance. By the time she had reached Chicago Med, she had coded and no matter the amount of epi they pushed into her veins or the strength of shock they used, she never came back.

Time of death, 21:47.

When Erin got back to her place that night, she tossed her phone onto her bed before getting into the shower to wash off the accumulated sweat and grime of the day. She was still oblivious to the texts and calls that she had received during the night—she was still oblivious about the fact that her best friend was just killed in a head-on collision when someone who could barely walk in a straight line decided that he wanted to get behind the wheel.

She was out confirming last minute details for Erin's birthday party. Kelly wanted to keep it a surprise so while he distracted her during the week with dinners, movies, and evenings at Molly's, her best friend could go out and figure everything out unnoticed.

The party was for Saturday night.

Nadia Decotis died late Thursday.

Her funeral was held on Sunday. Erin's birthday.

Erin barely spoke and she rarely ate. Her lack of appetite and the dark bags that seemed to become tattooed under her eyes became a constant concern for Kelly. Whether she was cuddled up in his arms or if he was on shift at the firehouse, Erin was his greatest worry.

One afternoon during shift, he made his way towards the 21st District—knowing she wouldn't be there—and made his way into Voight's office. He sat down in front of the man that his girlfriend saw as a father. He took her in when nobody else did. Kelly knew Voight would want to know how she was doing and when he left the district about ten minutes later, he was glad he went.

He was less happy about his choice when he walked into his apartment after shift that night. He had given her a key to use whenever—like she did with her own apartment—and he found her fuming as she paced in front of him. She yelled at him for what felt like hours before finally succumbing to sleep in his arms, tear tracks still evident on her cheeks.

Maybe voicing his concerns wasn't the greatest of ideas.

Every day that they saw each other was another day full of fighting. She didn't have the patience for their relationship anymore and it was tiring for him to face her anger over and over again.

One night when he got home from shift, she was already at his place. She had a couple of bags by her feet and just eyeballing them, he knew they were full—that she had packed up her stuff from his place and would take it back to her own.

She left him with a few words of how she didn't deserve his love or his happiness and that he could do so much better than the broken girl she was. She could see how much of a burden she was to him and that she could see how physically and mentally exhausted he had become in the last few weeks.

All she did was place a soft kiss on his cheek before walking out his door, never looking back.

He didn't see or hear from her for days. He foolishly thought that one day she would walk back into his apartment—tell him that she was wrong—but then he would remember the silver key that was meant to be hers was left on the coffee table in front of his eyes.

He decided to go out to Molly's one night to try to get his mind off of her. Maybe some drinks with his friends and watching whatever sports game was on TV was just the remedy he needed. Everything was going fine until he noticed her walk into the bar. She came alone but quickly found some friends and drank her alcoholic beverages quickly. He kept count from a distance, but made sure that he was never spotted.

When she started taking shots with random guys, he stepped in. There was anger in her eyes as he led her out of the bar and into his car. She was defenseless against him in her intoxicated state. He took her back to his place, wanting to make sure she slept off all the alcohol in her body. After he got her settled into his bed, her hand stopped him from leaving. When he looked down into her eyes, it was as if she was sober. Her eyes were clear and when she spoke, he was sure that he had counted the drinks wrong or that she never even had a sip of alcohol to drink.

"Thank you."

He could tell she was losing the fight against sleep so he placed a gentle kiss on her forehead before turning away, intent on getting her a glass of water.

"Kelly…?"

"Hm."

"Fuck me." Erin was propped up on her elbows when he turned around to face her, seemingly more awake than ever.

"Erin, you're drunk."

"Did you find someone else?" Her voice sounded hesitant as she whispered the words out to him. "I'm happy for you."

"No, I didn't. I just don't want to take advantage of you." Kelly gently coaxed her back under the covers as he pushed some hair away from her face. "I will always love you, Erin. But you're just really vulnerable right now and I don't want you to do anything you'd regret when you're sober."

"But I won't, Kelly. Please, trust me!" Erin pleaded. "I want you to fuck me." Erin snuck out a hand from under the covers and found Kelly's skin under his shirt. He was startled by the cold skin of her hand compared to his warm skin. He had to admit, it felt good to have her touching him. It felt familiar. It had been so long since they were intimate with each other and he had a constant craving for her.

Before he could stop himself, Kelly abruptly rose from the bed, and grabbed the collar of his shirt—peeling it off in one swift motion. He was on top of her in seconds, ripping off the covers. Their movements were sloppy and uncalculated but by the end, both of them were spent and in a state of bliss.

Erin had her head resting on Kelly's chest while he had his arms wrapped around her—just like old times. Sleep came quickly for both of them that night and when they woke up, there were definitely no regrets.

They decided to have another go at their relationship and friendship—basically starting from square one. They went on dates and had takeout nights at one of their apartments at least once a week.

And then about a month later, they found out something neither of them had expected.

Erin was pregnant.

They took three different pregnancy tests at home and saw two different doctors to confirm everything, but there was never any doubt—Erin had all the signs.

Kelly begged her to take it easy at work. This pregnancy brought a new found joy to their lives and Erin finally seemed to be getting back to herself. She was always on her phone Googling things about their baby's development, and she could hardly ever wait to show him things she found.

They were both nervous for the first ultrasound. Erin wasn't showing yet but they knew that their baby was beginning to grow inside of her. Erin held onto Kelly's hand tightly as they watched the grey blobs floating around on the screen. They watched as the technician took measurements before she furrowed her brows.

"What's wrong?" Erin asked apprehensively.

"Just one second, I need to get the doctor." The tech quickly left the room, only increasing Erin and Kelly's anxiety.

"Hey, everything will be okay." Kelly soothed when he noticed the tears in Erin's eyes. "Just breathe."

Seconds later, the doctor came into the room and smiled warmly at the couple. "Don't worry, I'm just here to clarify something." He picked up the wand before rubbing it over Erin's belly as she nervously watched his eyes moving over the screen. "You're right." He turned towards the technician and smiled. "Ms. Lindsay, you're pregnant with twins."

"Twins?" Erin asked in disbelief.

"Twins." The doctor confirmed with a smile. "Congratulations."

Erin looked over at Kelly to see his reaction to the news but her heart fell when he wasn't smiling. "Kelly, we're having twins…"

"Yeah…" He swallowed nervously and wiped some sweat that had accumulated along his eyebrow. "Twins, yay." As soon as he spoke, his eyes rolled back and he collapsed on the floor.

"Oh my God." Erin exclaimed. She tried to sit up on the reclined bed only to be stopped by the tech.

"It's okay, honey. We actually see this a lot. Just take nice slow breaths." Erin tried her best to follow the technician's instructions as she watched the doctor tend to Kelly out of her peripheral vision.

It took him a couple of minutes to come back and when he opened his eyes, he blinked a few times before gazing around confused.

"Welcome back." The doctor greeted with a warm smile. "Twins will do that to ya." He stood up before offering Kelly a hand and didn't let go until he knew the soon-to-be father would be steady on his feet.

"Hey, sorry about that." Kelly looked down sheepishly at his girlfriend as she laid there with a smile on her face.

"You sure you're okay? If anyone was allowed to pass out it should've been me. I'm the one who has to carry these babies." Erin teased as she watched her boyfriend wipe more of the sweat on his forehead.

"Funny. Let's just get out of here please, I need some air."

They both left with a picture of their babies, smiling from ear-to-ear, even though Kelly's insides were still shaking from fear.

That fear was nothing compared to the anxiety he felt the day he was going to propose. He was glad that he decided to do it on a day he wasn't on shift because his hands were shaking from the second he woke up.

He was going to do it at the Navy Pier. It wasn't anything big because he knew how she hated surprises. They were going to grab dinner before exploring all the rides and games the Pier had to offer.

It was cooler than usual in Chicago during April. The wind whipped at their faces and Kelly knew he had to act fast before Erin started to complain about being cold.

"Hey, Erin. Let's stop walking for a second." Kelly cleared his throat before continuing again, grabbing Erin's hands in his own. "I know that our relationship hasn't been very traditional." He smiled when he saw Erin nodding her head up and down. "And I know we didn't get back together because of the most normal circumstances. But I want to live the rest of my life with you. You're the only person I've had in the last few years that has actually meant something to me and I really don't want to let you go."

"Kelly…" Erin said hesitantly, knowing where this was leading. She watched him reach into his pocket to extract a black velvet box before getting down on one knee in front of her. She gasped when he opened the box—it was gorgeous.

"Erin, I want to spend the rest of my life waking up next to you and watching our babies grow and see their milestones everyday. Will you marry me?" He held his breath when he noticed her erratic breathing—the clouds from her mouth evidence of how quick it really was. "Erin…"

"Yeah… yes." She barely choked out the words as she looked up into his eyes again. "A million times yes."

Kelly released a deep sigh of relief when he heard her speak. It was as if all this weight was taken off his shoulders and everything felt right in the world. He carefully removed the ring from the box and slowly slid it on Erin's ring finger, smiling as she marvelled at the light sparkling off of it.

Everything was perfect.

He often talked about his father and his string of wives; how Benny had left his mother and him to fend for themselves while Kelly was just in grade school. His whole career had been overshadowed by his father—the name Severide carried power throughout the fire department. He was 'Benny Severide's son.'

If only they knew what Benny Severide was really like.

He was manipulative. He was condescending. And above all, he was a dick.

There was no way in hell Kelly would be like him with his own children. He would love them unconditionally for the people they were; he'd support their life endeavours; he'd give up his own life if it came down to it.

He needed to be the father he had so desperately craved when he was growing up.

Looking at apartments for their growing family was exciting. The babies needed a room and a safe place to grow big and strong. He remembered when his ex-girlfriend Reneé told him she was pregnant with his baby—he was bubbling with excitement of the thought of the baby's nursery right next to the master bedroom. He could be close to his daughter or son if it ever needed anything in the middle of the night, he could rock them to sleep if they woke up in the middle of the night and he could scare away all the monsters hiding under beds.

He needed that type of nursery.

But they could never seem to find a place good enough. There was always one nuance in the places they looked at that threw Erin off and she just couldn't picture herself living in any of them. She needed a home that would be just right for her family.

One Saturday afternoon, Kelly and Erin were out to lunch with Voight. He took the couple to a restaurant in an area surrounded by high rise apartments that they could only dream of living in.

"So I've been meaning to take you two out for a while." Voight spoke as he looked over his glass of water at the couple. He liked Kelly. He was ambitious, kind and above all, Kelly seemed like the right man for Erin—love was written all over her face since the day they had met. "It's just been tough working things out with our schedules." He chuckled.

"I'm glad we could finally get together for lunch, it's been a second." Kelly replied as he sat back and looked at his girlfriend's father. Kelly knew the story behind them—he wasn't her biological father but he was the best thing she had. So he was her dad.

"Well I didn't want to keep it a secret for long, but I want to take you two somewhere." Erin looked skeptically over to Kelly and he had the same questioning look on his face. "Relax, it's a good thing. Let's get out of here."

Instead of driving to their next location, the three of them walked through a park and stood in front of one of the immaculate high rises in the area.

"Hank, what are we doing here?" Erin asked as she looked up, trying to pinpoint the top of the building.

"We're here to see your new apartment." Voight replied as he shrugged his shoulders and made his way towards the building.

"Wait? Apartment?!" Erin exclaimed looking between her father and boyfriend. "Hank, there is no way we can live here."

"Of course you can. Yours is apartment 1507."

Kelly and Erin followed Voight through the building and watched as he took a key and stuck it into the lock. When they walked through the threshold of the apartment, both of their jaws dropped.

Hank went towards the window, marvelling at the sight of the sun glistening against the ripples in the river while Kelly went to go check out the bedrooms. Erin couldn't believe that she was standing in an apartment as nice as this one; there was no way she could accept such and extravagant gift from her pseudo-father.

"Hank, we can't…" Erin said earnestly as she came up behind him.

"Kid, I'm happy for you. I remember when you first came to live with us and you were 100% set on not getting married. Now look at you. Soon-to-be married and soon-to-be mother."

"I know, it's just, this is big. There's no way we can accept this. This is too big of a gift."

"Listen, Camille told me to wait until now to tell you this. But when she died, she made me promise that when you found a man, that I would buy you somewhere to live. Where you wouldn't have to worry about finances. It's all she wanted me to do. She wanted to see you get married, have children that she could spoil, and when she realized she wouldn't be around for that kind of stuff, she insisted that this would be a present from us—from her."

Tears welled in Erin's eyes that she stubbornly didn't let fall before accepting the open embrace from Voight. This man had done so much for her. She couldn't believe that she was living this life. If you were to tell thirteen-year-old Erin that she was going to get married to a firefighter, have twins, and live in an apartment with a view of the river, she would've scoffed in your face.

But a week later, they were moving in and Erin was living the unimaginable life.

The end of Erin's pregnancy was the most difficult for the both of them. Kelly would be exhausted from shift only to come home and get an earful from Erin what seemed like every night.

He was frustrated.

All he wanted to do was make sure that Erin was comfortable and that she took it easy but she insisted that she could do anything and everything. And it didn't stop there.

She was always nagging him about leaving his clothes lying around or not leaving the bathroom clean after using it. She would get mad at him for not letting her do something as simple as the dishes or getting the nursery together.

She felt like an invalid.

There was one night a month before the babies were due that was the worst. They were both screaming at each other for hours—Erin was surprised that none of their neighbours had called the cops yet. She knew that it was just a highly stressful time and they were both unhealthily taking out their stresses on each other, but she didn't have the energy to do it anymore.

"Look at us, Kelly. We fight literally every second that we see each other. Stress isn't good for the babies yet here I am, stressed beyond belief. I need a break." Erin sat down on the couch, looking at her fiancé who stood in the kitchen.

"Wait…Erin what do you mean?"

"I mean, that we're not good for each other, when we're in an intimate relationship at least. I've been thinking for a while and I honestly think we'd be better off as friends."

"But what about the babies?" Kelly tried to bargain. He knew that Erin was right, but he didn't want to end up like his father before his kids had even arrived.

"What about them?"

"Are we just going to do that joint custody bullshit? One week they're yours and the next they're mine? Erin, you know how I feel about that."

"I'm not saying it like that. I would give anything in the world for us to happily be together for the kids. But admit it, us being together isn't a good thing." Erin stood up and walked over to Kelly, cupping his cheeks in her hands. "I love you, and I want you to be happy. And right now, I can see you're not. We'll figure it out. But I think we should just be friends."

"Best friends." Kelly added.

"Of course. As long as you and these babies are happy, that's all I could ask for in this world."

"Me too." Kelly agreed as he kissed her forehead. "Me too."

It was a lazy Thursday afternoon and Erin stood in the kitchen making a sandwich. There wasn't much to do around the apartment—it was clean and she had finished all her errands so she spent the day lounging on the couch eating. She had been having some cramping and knew that the babies were be due any day now so she decided to rest as much as she could.

Her current craving was peanut butter and jelly and Erin didn't dare admit how many of them she'd eaten in the last week—she couldn't even remember the last time she cooked something. She picked up half of the sandwich and munched on it while she picked up the plate and decided to carry it over to the couch to continue her Friends marathon.

However, she stopped dead in her tracks when she felt fluid running down her legs and pooling at her feet. Quickly locating her phone, she dialed Kelly who she knew was at his own apartment that day sleeping after the night shift at work. It took a couple of rings for him to pick up—enough for Erin to finish her sandwich—but as soon as she heard his groggy voice, she quickly filled him in.

He lived a short distance away and was at her place in less than ten minutes to take her to Med. When they got there, Erin was quickly set up with an IV and got dressed in her gown. Her doctor came by shortly after to see how much she was dilated before excitedly telling her it would only be a few hours until her babies were brought into the world.

That's when all the fear and anxiety really hit Erin. She was going to be a mother by the end of that day.

Was she ready? Could she really take care of two babies? Maybe she shouldn't have been so fast to tell Kelly they weren't good for each other. No, that wasn't a mistake. They were finally on better terms with each other. They were ready to have their children brought into the world.

There was definitely no going back now.

He held her hand tightly, apprehensively watching as the teams of doctors and nurses prepared her for delivery. She would occasionally squeeze his hand tightly when a contraction would hit and he would coach her through every second of it.

He whispered soothing words to her as she pushed on Dr. Mendes' command and would wipe the sweat off her face with a towel when she got a minute to relax. He needed to stay calm even though his heart felt like it was beating two hundred times a minute. For Erin.

Everything was going fine—Erin could feel the first baby moving into the birth canal but all the fear in her body skyrocketed at the doctor's next words.

"The baby's breech! Erin I need you to stop pushing!" Dr. Mendes exclaimed loudly yet calmly. Kelly looked between the doctor and Erin, noticing tears streaming down her face. He felt so helpless and he knew there was nothing he could do.

"No, no. I can push! Trust me." Erin pleaded. "Just tell me when."

"Erin, it's too dangerous for you to push. I'm gonna have to do an emergency c-section." A screen was quickly hung over Erin's ribcage, blocking her view. "Give me some betadine." Dr. Mendes quickly ordered. "Scalpel."

Erin felt slight pressure as the doctor cut into her abdomen—hot tears stinging her eyes as they made their down her cheeks. She only cried harder when she heard the wails of one of her babies.

"Okay, baby number one is out. A boy with a strong set of lungs." Dr. Mendes chuckled.

"BP's dropping!"

It was all of a sudden, but Erin started to feel extremely faint—the efforts of all the pushing and the excitement of seeing one of her babies was definitely taking a toll on her. Her vision began to blur and all the colours around her started to merge.

"I've got severe bleeding, hang two of O neg." Dr. Mendes ordered. "Erin, I need you to try and stay with us." He could see her losing the fight from blood loss but his efforts to keep her awake were for nothing when he noticed her eyes were closed.

Erin's body felt heavy when she woke up. She tried to fight the concoction of drugs coursing through her veins, knowing she was likely given an anesthetic after she passed out. She was in a room with a lot of beds but she couldn't focus on anything.

"Erin. Erin how are you feeling?" She heard a male voice to her right but it wasn't one she recognized. Panic suddenly set in when she realized that Kelly was nowhere near her. "Erin, I need you to relax, you're in the recovery room."

"What time is it?" She needed some semblance of having control, and knowing the time of day could at least help her figure out a timeline.

"It's 5:37pm." The nurse replied calmly. "Are you in any pain?"

"No…wait! My babies! Where are they?!" Erin noticed the empty feeling she had around her belly and the scenes in the operating room came back to her. "I had a boy, he was crying, what happened to the other baby?!"

"Erin, relax. The babies are fine. They were just taken out of the recovery room a short while ago, they're with your husband up in the nursery."

"We're not married." For some reason, Erin wanted to make that clear. "Are they healthy?"

"From my understanding, yes. Dr. Mendes will come to your room and explain everything when we take you up." Although the nurse had reassured her that everything was fine, Erin wouldn't believe it until she saw them on her own.

"Erin, how are you feeling?" Dr. Mendes greeted as he looked through her charts.

"Good. Tired. Where's Kelly?"

"He's with the twins, they're on their way from the nursery. I just wanted to touch base with you about everything. You've got two healthy baby boys—congratulations. We finished their screenings and they're both fine. You however, will need to spend a few more days in the hospital. There was a lot of blood loss and we just want to make sure you're healthy and stable enough to go home." As Dr. Mendes finished speaking, two nurses wheeled in portable cribs, followed by Kelly. "I'll let you have some bonding time, once again congratulations."

Tears freely made their way out of Erin's eyes when she saw her boys. They were perfect. They each had little blue hats on their heads and were swaddled in white baby blankets as they peacefully slept. The nurses eased a baby into each of her arms and as she looked down at them, all the questions about whether or not she was ready to be a mother evaporated.

Kelly watched quietly as Erin interacted with their sons from her bedside. Although they may not have had the most conventional relationship, he knew that everything would be alright—he would make sure of it.

WE CAN FINALLY GET BACK TO LINSTEAD, YAY!

Leave some reviews, please :)


	6. Chapter 6

Special thanks to everyone who helped motivate me to write and to quesera1 for editing :)

X

At the end of a slow passing day, Jay was exhausted. All he wanted to do was go home and crash face first into his pillow. But first, he had to survive pick-up. Erin didn't come the day before, so he wasn't expecting to see her, but he especially didn't want to see 'Grandpa' again. Tiredly, Jay ran his hand down his face as the bell rang for dismissal. His eyes searched the many faces of parents excited to see their child after a long day. However, when Jay didn't see Erin or 'Grandpa,' his brows furrowed. Until he heard the word 'Daddy' uttered from the twins' mouths. They ran over with their arms outstretched to a man with salt and pepper hair. He looked quite fit and muscular and as he held both boys in his arms, Jay noticed "SQUAD" stitched in yellow on the back of his jacket.

So this was the father.

I'm definitely more attractive than him.

Jay stared Kelly down as he watched him interact with the twins. He knew he had no right to be pissed, he was the boys' father after all. But seeing another guy in the picture made him feel like he had competition—like he had to prove to Erin that he was better.

For some reason, his subconscious had him imagining what a life at home with Erin would be like. They would wake up next to each other and cuddle before being interrupted by the boys and they would make breakfast together as a family and spend their days off together. They would hear about the boys' days at the dinner table before going through their nightly routines. Late nights would be spent on the couch together, snuggling under a blanket as they watched whatever was on TV that night—Jeopardy, Wheel of Fortune. But it wouldn't matter as long as they were together.

But one sight of the father sent all these thoughts flushed down the toilet.

He moped around his apartment, much to the amusement of his brother. Eventually, Will had had enough. He set Jay up on a date with one of the nurses at Med when he couldn't stand any more of his brother's wallowing.

Jay tried everything in his power to get out of the date—he even faked being sick, which was probably one of the more ridiculous excuses considering his brother was a doctor. Will forced him out of the apartment with nothing but his essentials and the girl's address before telling him to not come back before midnight. Jay considered just driving around the city for a few hours—maybe he could find a bar and watch the Stanley Cup Finals instead. But he knew the disapproving look his brother would give him when he heard that he stood the girl up, so he found himself reluctantly knocking on her apartment door.

She looked good. Decent. But she didn't look like her. Rachel was her name, or something like that. She had long blonde hair, blue sapphire eyes and a perfect smile—but none of that had any effect on Jay. Had it been a week earlier, Jay would've liked the prospect of falling into bed with her, but he knew it wasn't fair to Rebecca because she genuinely seemed interested in him.

She leaned in close when he said something funny and she was very vocal with her hands. She talked about some of her patients—she worked in the pediatric ward at Med and thought that it would strike a chord with Jay considering his job, but it didn't. He was more concerned of the confidentiality she was breaching by telling him all of those stories.

After dropping Regan off outside her building, Jay quickly pulled away and headed home. He wasn't surprised to see Will on the couch—beer in hand—eager to ask how his date went. Jay just shrugged his shoulders and walked to his room, getting undressed before face planting into his pillow.

Most of Jay's days went slowly. He would work, go to the gym, have dinner and watch something on TV before heading to bed. It didn't help that he had to see Erin every morning at drop off. It wasn't fair that he had to see her beautiful face every morning and not be able to sweet talk her. He felt like a kid who could only look at all the delicious candy but was told by his mother not to touch it.

The school year had just started but he was already looking forward to the week off he always took off at the same time every year. Maybe it would help him figure things out.

Erin was going to have to make the first move.

Jay wouldn't even look in her direction—she had no idea that his gaze landed on her whenever she wasn't paying attention. He was just being professional…right?

Maybe he had a girlfriend, or a fiance, and she was just fooled by his charm. Maybe he was just trying to not be an asshole.

Whatever it was, it was driving Erin mad. She tossed and turned in her bed most nights—her mind full of images of his freckles and that lopsided grin. After one rough night of little sleep, she had had enough. She was going to talk to him if it was the last thing she did. She was going to ask him out to dinner—all fears of rejection aside—the next morning when she dropped off the boys.

God, he better be single.

The next morning, Erin woke up feeling jittery. Although anxiety radiated off of her, she was also feeling excited. Time passed quickly as she prepared breakfast and lunch for herself and her boys and she did a quick once over of herself before running out the door—making sure she looked presentable.

But her face fell when she saw a middle aged woman standing at the classroom door instead of Jay.

Was he sick? He looked fine yesterday. Maybe he has a conference or something. I guess I'll just have to wait until tomorrow.

Defeated, she kissed the boys goodbye like she did every morning and made her way to work. Not seeing Jay seemed to put a damper on the rest of Erin's day. Voight seemed extra pissed when they came up with dead end after dead end on their case; Antonio kept going on and on about his ex Laura moving on with another guy and how he felt cheated; and Ruzek, well he was just Ruzek.

At the dinner table that night, Erin asked about the boys' day. She knew it couldn't have been worse than hers. Cameron and Jackson could always find a way to cheer her up, and maybe they could get her mind off a certain green-eyed teacher.

"Mommy! Guess what?!" Cameron asked, spitting his food everywhere.

"Cameron, chew and swallow your food first." She waited until he was finished to continue the conversation. "Okay, what is it?"

"Mr. H is gone! Mrs. Greig is our teacher now. She's really nice." As soon as he finished speaking, Cameron filled his mouth with another bite, oblivious to his mother's inner turmoil. So maybe they wouldn't do such a great job with distracting her.

How can he just be gone like that?! Without a goodbye… Fuck I wish I got his phone number before. Why would he quit right when the year started? Fuck… what did I do?!

True to Cameron's word, Jay wasn't there again the next morning. She didn't want to believe her son's words—maybe he had just misinterpreted what having a substitute teacher meant.

As she turned away from the classroom door, Erin could literally feel her heart start to break.

This time of year is always difficult for Jay, bringing back painful memories. He sat on the porch of his grandfather's cabin in Wisconsin—sipping on some beer as he watched the ripples in the water, mind deep in thought. His attention was brought back to present time when he heard the porch door open.

Will took a seat next to Jay in one of the chairs, looking out at what had caught his brother's attention. He sipped his own beer and cleared his throat before bringing up the topic they danced around. They hardly ever talked about it, but it was hard to avoid when they continued the tradition at the family cabin ever year.

"Remember that time when Mom caught us trying to climb trees and you got so scared when she yelled that you let go of the branch you were holding?" Will chuckled as he looked over to the array of trees adjacent to the house.

"I fractured my arm in two places, of course I remember." Jay retorted back, thinking about the long afternoon he had spent in the emergency room in his mother's arms as she rocked him back and forth.

"I'm never gonna forget how much she pampered you for the coming weeks after that."

"Hey, she felt bad. And I didn't mind a bit, especially because I got to miss school and she made her famous chocolate chip cookies for me almost every day."

The recipe had been passed down to both Will and Jay before their mother died, but neither of them could get it just right. When their mom made them, they were soft and warm and the chocolate chips were always melted to perfection. Maybe it was just because she had a mother's touch.

But it wasn't just the cookies. It was everything.

It was helping with school projects; it was bandaging and kissing their cuts and scrapes; it was knowing exactly what to say to make them feel better on a bad day.

She was everything.

"Boys, your cousins are here." Jay was broken out of his reverie at the sound of his Nana's voice. "C'mon inside."

Jay and Will stood from their respective seats and followed their grandmother into the warm cabin. There had been many renovations over the years—as the Halstead grandchildren grew older, their grandfather recruited their help to make it more spacious for the following generations of Halsteads that would be running around.

The ceilings were twelve feet tall and the kitchen and dining room were surrounded by floor-to-ceiling windows, helping to open up the simple plan of the cabin. There were three more bedrooms added onto the original three bedroom structure, as were two bathrooms. Over the course of twenty years, Jay's grandparents had managed to make the cabin a somewhat luxurious retreat.

Jay loved coming to Wisconsin. When his mom passed away, his Nana took the maternal role in his life and really helped him cope. She deserved the entire world for what she helped him through. If it wasn't for her, Jay knew he wouldn't even be alive. She was the light in his darkness.

Jay placed his beer down on the dinner table before going in to the kitchen to help set the table. He was greeted by his cousins, aunt and uncle but he couldn't bear the sympathetic looks in their eyes. He had to see it every year, and he was sick of it. It had been over a decade ago, they didn't need to walk around on eggshells when they were near him anymore. He was better now.

In a matter of ten minutes, the family was settled around the dinner table, quietly eating with the occasional small talk—conversations about relationships, work and how Chicago was treating the Halstead brothers.

Throughout the night, Jay's mind would jump to a certain hazel-eyed girl back home. He was itching to see her—and hopefully talk to her one day when he grew a pair.

But he couldn't go back to Chicago just yet, he still had one more thing to do.

X

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	7. Chapter 7

Special thanks to queseraone for editing, you rock! :)

Jay spent all of his summers in college with his grandparents, usually volunteering his time at the Boys and Girls Club. This was his probably his favourite thing about going to Wisconsin—other than his Nana's cooking of course.

In between his third and fourth year of university, he met a boy named Matthew Scott. He was fifteen years old, reserved, shy—he reminded Jay a lot of himself. Matthew didn't talk to anyone of his own volition, and when he was spoken to, he kept his answers short. His dark hair was kept long to conceal his eyes, but Jay knew it was also used to watch other people without being seen. It was a defense mechanism he knew all too well.

Jay had been intrigued by him. From a distance, he would watch Matt interacting with the other kids and he saw how focused he would get on his activities. He noticed that Matt loved to draw. He always had a sketchbook with him wherever he went and Jay would catch him sketching the scenery whenever he could. The kid had passion and discipline, but Jay knew that without anyone there to push him, all of that potential would go to waste.

After about a week, Jay tried to engage more with Matt. He found out about his family life and why he was there—his father was in prison, his mother had passed away a few months earlier, and none of his relatives were willing to take him in, forcing him to take up residence in the Boys and Girls Club's youth shelter. Matt struggled through school and had been in countless fights so every day, someone would come by to 'homeschool' him. No public school in the district wanted him to attend their school and private school was out of the question.

He was all alone in the world, with nobody on his side.

Jay tried his best to find activities they could do that Matt that he would genuinely enjoy. They went paintballing, to the art museum, and camping for a weekend. Jay had even taken him to the gym a few times. It was a good way for Matt to burn off extra energy and left him too tired to cause trouble. Jay helped him with his homework every evening before dinner and would read with him daily. He took pride in the giant smile plastered on the teenager's face when he found the new sketchbook and state-of-the-art pencil crayons that Jay had secretly placed under his pillow while he was gone to eat breakfast one morning. Jay drilled positive habits into Matt; he was finally someone who could get through to him.

When Jay returned after one weekend, Matt was nowhere in sight. They had planned to go hiking that day and Jay wanted to take that opportunity to start asking about Matt's plans for the future—college, apprenticeships, jobs, even the military. He wanted to know what Matt's hopes and dreams were and he wanted to do everything in his power to help him achieve them.

Jay checked his room, the bathroom, and all around the building but didn't find him anywhere. Matt had disappeared without a trace.

The building was immediately put on lockdown and the police had been contacted. Security camera footage showed Matt sneaking out one of the back entrances with nothing but the clothes on his back.

The cops questioned all of the employees and residents, but came up empty. Matt wasn't close to anyone but Jay so it was difficult to figure out where he would go or if he had any safe place to stay.

"Which one of you is Jay?" One of the officers held an envelope in his hand as he approached the group of employees and volunteers.

"I am, why?"

"We found this letter on the bed, it was made out to you." Jay hesitantly grabbed the envelope extended from the officer's hand. "It looks like a suicide note."

"Fuck." Jay's heart dropped into his stomach as he quickly skimmed over the words. He stuffed the note into the pocket of his shorts before running out the door and toward his car.

He drove quickly through the streets and went towards a lake near a running path that he had taken Matt on. There was a giant oak tree that the teenager had grown fond of. It was the perfect place to admire the way the sun reflected off the soft ripples in the water; it had a calming effect on him. Jay had promised to bring him back one day so he could add a drawing and some pictures into his sketchbook, but they had been busy doing so many other things that he never got the chance.

"Matt!" Jay called out as he parked his car and ran down to the tree as quickly as possible. The long grass scratched at his bare calves but he didn't care, Matt was his number one priority. He saw the teenager tense up as he climbed the tree with a rope in his hand. "Don't do this, please." He begged.

It took Jay almost an hour to convince Matt to come back down, and when he did, Jay hugged him and held on for dear life. He called an ambulance and never left Matt's side; Jay spent his nights sleeping in the uncomfortable bedside chair, wanting to be close in case he needed anything—a drink, food, or just a listening ear.

During a 72-hour suicide watch at the hospital, the teen said nothing to Jay. He slept for most of the time and whenever Jay asked if he needed anything, he would just shake his head no.

After being released from the hospital, Jay tried to engage him like before, but the teenager didn't want to do anything. The only time they spent together was when Jay drove Matt to and from therapy, but there was never any conversation during the ride.

September was quickly looming, and Jay knew he would be leaving soon to get back to school. Matt was more closed off than ever and Jay didn't know how he could possibly get through to him.

So he left without saying goodbye. He thought it would be easier for Matt, even though it broke everything within himself.

After class one afternoon, Jay arrived in his dorm room, hands full of mail. He wasn't great at checking, and sometimes he missed important deadlines because of his carelessness. He flipped through bill after bill before he saw an envelope.

The return address was somewhere in Wisconsin and his mind immediately jumped to one person. Quickly, Jay tore through the envelope to see the content inside. There were two papers; he read the note first.

Jay,

I know I probably don't deserve your time and attention anymore, but I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry you spent so much time on me, making me a better person, but I still threw it all away. I don't know how you do it. I've heard you spend all your summers here helping people like me. Maybe one day I could be like you. Maybe I'll get to help a kid like me someday.

It's been a while since we last talked and I thought I'd update you on what's happening in my life, if you even care anymore. I no longer have to go to therapy, so I guess that's the first obstacle that I overcame. I've been doing better in school and I'm still reading every day before lights out like you always taught me. I've been going to the gym and getting all my frustrations out so my life is a little less stressing. Other than that, I don't know what to tell you. Life is good, I guess. I'll understand if you don't want to talk to me anymore, and that's okay. You can keep the painting.

Matt

Jay had tears in his eyes as he finished reading Matt's letter. He held the painting in his other hand and opened it slowly. He took in all the colours and how they blended to complement each other nicely. The page had a plethora of greens—different shades for the trees, bushes and grass—and the blueish colours of the water felt almost real. He couldn't tear his eyes away from the paper. Sitting by the big oak tree near the lake were two figures: one he easily recognized that was himself, and the other smaller figure was Matt. He felt as if he was actually there.

Jay walked over to his desk, looking up at his cork board. He removed one of the thumbtacks from the corner and placed Matt's painting right in the middle of the board, somewhere he would always see it. He folded up the letter and opened a drawer to his desk and added it to the pile of pictures of his mother, and the letters she sent him while he was overseas.

They kept in touch after that, and Jay tried to get up to Wisconsin as often as he could. Matt sent him drawings of things he saw and kept Jay updated on how school was going. When he graduated high school, he took a step in a direction that Jay never saw coming.

Matt didn't tell Jay about it until he was 100% certain that everything would work out. Maybe it was pride, but it was most likely because he didn't want to let his mentor down. Again. But when the letter finally came, Matt was bubbling with excitement.

Jay,

I don't know how many more letters I'll be able to send you, but I'm finally taking the next step in my life. You always told me how much you wished you didn't have to serve and how you came back as a changed man, but also how you would never hesitate to go back because the military changed you for the better. I'm not exactly following in your footsteps but I finally got my acceptance letter from the United States Marine Corps. I have to report to base in two weeks. I cannot express enough gratitude for all you have done for me. I guess all I can say now is oorah.

Matt

And now—five years later—Jay pulled up to a small cabin about thirty minutes away from his. It was closer to town, walking distance even, and Jay couldn't help but feel proud as he admired the wood finishings outside of the cabin.

He walked up and knocked on the mahogany door. Jay listened for footsteps, but knew he'd be home. Rumour had it that he had been back on leave for a while. Sure enough, a few seconds later the front door opened to reveal twenty-year-old Matthew. Jay paused for a moment to look the younger man up and down. He looked healthier overall with his hair was cut short, clean-shaven face, and tanned skin. The two men tackled each other into a tight hug before Matt invited Jay in.

They sat for a while, catching up on everything happening in each other's lives—Matt was heading on his second tour to Afghanistan in a couple of months. They talked late into the night about their lives—Jay talked about his students and his Nana and how well she was doing, but steered completely clear of anything to do with Erin. There was no way he was going to ask someone a decade younger than him for help. Jay promised that he would see him again before he left—he knew how long and difficult deployment was and how much it meant to have someone in your corner. "Hey, I never told you how proud I am. You really turned your life around when the world was against you."

"I'll never forget how you saved me. And everything you did for me. I owe you my life."

"I'd do it again in a heartbeat."

"Mommy! Guess what?!" The guessing game was Cameron's favourite. It was the best way for him to get his mother's attention quickly.

"What is it sweetheart?" Erin pushed the grocery cart through the produce aisles at the grocery store, keeping a close eye on the twins. It was late on Friday evening and Voight had let her go early that afternoon to spend some extra time with the boys. After they were done grocery shopping, Erin had plans to have pizza and ice cream with a movie in the living room. It had been a while since she and the boys spent quality time together.

"Mr. H really liked the apples we gave him! Can we get s'more, please?"

At the mention of his name, Erin's cheeks turned pink. She hadn't seen him all week and it had felt like the longest week of her life. Her days went by slowly and her only sources of entertainment were Cameron and Jackson. Kelly had been over earlier in the week for family dinner, and he stayed for a few beers and a movie after the kids had gone to sleep. But other than that, Erin's days revolved around work and the boys' routines. "Sure."

The trio walked over to the pile of Red Delicious apples. Erin held open the plastic bag as the boys picked out five apples each. Just as she went to tie a knot around the top, she heard Jackson gasp loudly beside her, nearly making her drop the bag.

"Mommy, look!" She followed his excited gaze across a couple of aisles before landing on him. He was picking out bananas and her eyes followed him as he moved over to the kale. "Can we go see him?!"

"Okay, let's go." Erin quickly glanced at her appearance, hoping she looked presentable—she didn't. She was still wearing her clothes from work that day, and there was mud smeared all along the left side of her leg from when she slipped and fell while chasing a perp. She wished she had gone home to change before coming out, especially now.

"MR. H!" Cameron and Jackson both shouted at the top of their lungs. Jay turned to see the two boys running at him with excited looks on their faces. "Where were you?! How come you aren't our teacher anymore?"

Jay saw Erin approaching them out of the corner of his eye as he crouched down to the boys' level. "Well, I was away on a vacation for the week but I promise I'm going to be back on Monday."

"Vacation? Where'd you go?" Cameron asked curiously. "Did you go to Disney World?"

"No, I didn't go to Disney World." Jay laughed. "I went to Wisconsin to visit my family."

"Oh, that doesn't sound fun." Jackson commented.

Erin watched Jay as he interacted with the twins. He was wearing a tight black Adidas t-shirt with matching shorts and a baseball cap on his head. It was obvious that he had come straight from the gym—she could still see some sweat lining the back of his neck. She was brought out of her daze when she noticed Jay standing up, grinning as he looked at her.

"I was getting worried there for a second, the boys told me that they had a new teacher." Erin said, a smirk on her face as she tried to play it cool and pretend that she hadn't been staring.

"And miss seeing your face every day? Not a chance." Jay winked. He didn't miss the hint of blush creeping onto Erin's cheeks. God she looks so good.

"Well maybe we could find a way to see each other a little more often?" Erin proposed, her heart hammering in her chest. Where did I just get that confidence?

"Wouldn't your boyfriend have a problem with that?" Jay knew he was blushing, the evidence was probably written all over his face and in his smile. Did she just make the first move?! Get a hold of yourself, Jay.

"Why would my ex care about who I go out with?"

"Oh, he's your ex? Isn't he your husband?" Jay asked, his voice rising. He didn't dare admit it, but his excitement was rising.

"Nope, I'm not married." Erin laughed.

"Okay." His voice shook as he blew out a breath he didn't know he was holding. "How about Friday?"

"Next Friday is great for me, if work permits."

"Oh yeah, you're a cop right?" Jay asked confidently, already knowing the answer.

"Yeah… wait, I don't remember telling you that." Erin laughed when she saw the panicked look on Jay's face.

"Yeah, the boys told me one time." Jay said sheepishly. He grabbed his phone out of his pocket and handed it to her. Erin quickly put her number in and did the same with her phone. "Well I should get going, I'll see you three on Monday."

Oh definitely.

You guys can all thank glasgowgirl92 for kicking my ass into shape to write this last week.

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	8. Chapter 8

Special thanks to queseraone for editing :)

He was going on a date.

With Erin Lindsay.

On Friday night!

Jay wanted to run out into the street and scream it out to the world.

He needed to figure out where to take her. A movie seemed too casual and in his eyes, dinner at a fancy restaurant was too formal for a first date. He wished that the hockey season had started already. That would've been perfect. Maybe he could ask his guy for some Cubs tickets.

But then Jay realized, he knew nothing about her. He didn't know what kinds of food she liked to eat or what she liked to do in her free time without the boys. She was just a woman who he had fallen head over heels for.

He could've just texted her and asked what she would like to do, but he wanted to take charge of this date. He never had problems on first dates before, so how different could this one be?

It felt like Friday would never come. The Intelligence Unit had been busy with a high profile case, so Erin didn't get much time with her boys. Kelly had been dropping them off and picking them up from school every day that week and would have them in their beds by the time Erin got home. He had been a big help for her lately, and she couldn't appreciate it more.

Thankfully, their case wrapped up on Thursday morning, and after they finished their paperwork, Voight had graced everyone with three days off. If she was being honest, she didn't expect the case to wrap up as quickly as it did. They barely had any leads and whenever they would follow up on something, they'd come out with less than before. Even CI's had nothing to provide. In the end, the suspect's girlfriend turned him in when she heard about the incentive the police was offering for any information on the case.

After such a chaotic week, all Erin wanted to do was cuddle in her queen-sized bed with her pillows and blankets and nap for a few hours, but she couldn't. She still had to figure out what she was going to wear on her date.

Maybe it was her commitment phobia or maybe it was because Jay felt like the first real guy after Kelly, but she was incredibly nervous. She didn't want to back out and end up showing her face at the school Monday morning, his piercing eyes watching her every move. Her thoughts were interrupted by a text on her phone and when she read it, a smile spread across her face.

Hey this is super embarrassing but could you pick me up tomorrow night? My car is in the shop.

Just as Erin was about to reply, another text came through.

This is Jay, btw. In case you didn't realize.

Erin rolled her eyes and shook her head at his second text. She didn't have time to text him about their date that week and he didn't text her so it was the first conversation they had had since seeing each other in the grocery store. She took a deep breath before replying, re-reading her text over and over again before hitting send.

Sure, just text me your address and let me know what time.

Jay gave himself a once-over in his bathroom before stepping into the bedroom to slip on his dress shoes. He had made elaborate plans for their night together. Since the October weather was holding steady and warm, they'd start off with a walk in the park before getting dinner at a somewhat upscale restaurant he hoped Erin would like.

When he heard a gentle knock at the door, Jay quickly grabbed his phone and wallet off his dresser before practically running toward the front entry. He didn't want anyone else opening the door—especially his brother—but when he heard his Nana's voice greet Erin, he silently cursed himself for not being ready to go.

His Nana had come down that week—she wanted to see the sights of Chicago and check up on her grandsons. There was an extra room in Jay and Will's apartment so it was nice having her around. Nana made sure that they went to bed every night with more than beer in their stomachs and was always be up early to have breakfast ready on the table. Jay definitely appreciated it, but with his date on Friday night, he didn't want to look so bloated.

"Oh come in, dear. You must be Erin. Jay's been so excited this week, you should've seen the joy on his face. I haven't seen a grin on his face that big since he was eight and he—"

"Hey, I'm ready to go!" Jay announced, interrupting the conversation and wanting to get Erin away from his grandma before she said anything too embarrassing. First dates were definitely not the time for childhood stories. Especially his.

"Jay, wait. Your hair is a little messy at the front." Nana combed her fingers through his short hair, slicking it back and away from his forehead. Jay cursed silently when he saw Erin smiling in his peripheral vision. Maybe he should've waited outside the apartment building. "There." Jay looked at the mirror near the front door and forced a smile at his grandmother. He would just fix it again himself in the car. "Okay, you kids have fun." Nana smiled at both Jay and Erin before watching them walk down the apartment hallway towards the elevator.

"Sorry about that." Jay said softly when the doors to the elevator closed. "You look great, by the way. Amazing actually."

"You don't look half bad yourself." Erin teased. Who was she kidding? Jay Halstead in a suit?! God damn.

"Thank you for picking me up. I hope I didn't cause you any trouble. The brakes needing fixing and they said it would've been done in a day but they got backed up. We could've rescheduled if you wanted." Jay's cheeks turned pink as he rambled. He never did that. There was just something about standing next to the most beautiful woman he had ever seen that made him incredibly nervous.

"It's fine. Kelly picked up the boys from school and agreed to take them for the weekend. They were all pretty excited."

They each talked about their week on the way to the car, only stopping their conversation as they settled into their seats.

"This is weird. I should've been picking you up and driving." Jay said as he buckled himself into the passenger seat and fixed his hair. "I feel like a househusband."

"Well, maybe next time?" Erin shrugged, turning on the car. "Where to, househusband?" She smiled at the annoyed look on his face.

"The riverwalk."

Their walk along the river was spent getting to know each other better. Jay asked her about the twins and her job while she asked about his.

After dinner they headed to a quiet pub down the street to grab some drinks. They made small talk—about current events and about the upcoming hockey season that was due to start in the next week. The night was going great and they were genuinely enjoying each other's company. With the stress of the week, Erin didn't realize how much she had needed a night out.

"Alright, tell me something about yourself." Jay asked, taking a sip of his wine.

"Well what do you wanna know?" Erin smiled, her dimples in full effect.

"Why aren't you married to your children's father?"

"Ooooh, hitting me with the hard questions early, huh?" Erin laughed as she took a deep breath. Talking about it wasn't a big deal, she just chose to keep some parts of her life private. But there was something about Jay that made her want to tell him. Maybe it was the sparkle in his eye, or the soft grin on his pink lips. But whatever it was, she wanted to tell him everything.

"Sorry. You don't have to answer if you don't want to." Jay's cheeks flushed red as he distracted himself by playing with his wine glass, not wanting to look at Erin.

"I was teasing. We just didn't work well together. We were engaged, it wasn't anything traditional. We were slightly on and off so it is what it is. Your turn. Why'd you become a teacher?"

"My mom was an elementary school teacher. She was amazing." Erin couldn't help but notice how Jay talked about his mother in past tense. Was. She wanted to ask but she didn't want the night ending on a negative note, so she let him continue. "She always had this passion to help people. I guess my brother and I inherited that."

"What about your Dad?"

"He died a few years back."

"Jay, I'm so sorry."

"It doesn't matter, he was a deadbeat anyway. Why did you become a cop?" Jay quickly steered the conversation in another direction, not wanting to talk about such negative times in his life in a public area. He would tell her eventually—of course—but it didn't feel right as a first date talk.

"It's a long story."

"It's cool, another time maybe?" Jay quickly reached into his pocket and extracted his wallet—paying the tab for their drinks—without making any eye contact with her. Erin couldn't help but feel guilty for cutting their night short. Maybe she should've explained the mess that was her life and how she become a cop. It was honestly the only reason why she was sitting there and talking to him in the first place.

"I don't want you to get the wrong idea, but I was just wondering if you'd like to take it back to my place? Have a beer or something?" She took pride in the small grin that crossed his lips.

"Sure, why not."

"A detective's salary can afford you this?!" Jay's eyes were wide with childlike wonder as he walked towards the windows overlooking the river. He had never been in an apartment so big in his life. "We were literally right down there!"

Erin smiled as she took off her heels, wanting to be more comfortable in her own home, before making her way into the kitchen to get them both beers. When she walked back into the living room, she noticed Jay was still gazing out the window. She invited him over to sit, handing him his bottle of beer.

They sat on the couch facing each other—beers eventually forgotten—as they stared into each other's eyes with the sound of the radio playing in the background. Erin's heart began to race when she noticed Jay's eyes flitting down to her lips. She found herself subconsciously licking them in anticipation. Slowly, Erin moved closer to him, not afraid to make the first move. There was no reservation in his sea green eyes, and before Erin knew it, her lips had made contact with his.

The kiss was soft—unsure—and they pulled away quickly, looking intently into each other's eyes. There was no hesitation from Erin, and before Jay knew it, his hand grabbed her face and his lips crashed hard against her own. Erin got up from the couch and walked blindly towards her bedroom, having her apartment memorized and she fell against the bed when her knees made contact against the foot of it. She scooted up higher, resting her head on the pillows before Jay straddled her, capturing her lips in another heated kiss.

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	9. Chapter 9

You know who deserves everything great in life? Queseraone. She edited this for me while a super fussy baby demanded her attention (plus she has a headache) and I couldn't be more thankful for someone in my life. You rock, girl!

(Her baby fights sleep so if anyone knows what to do, leave some comments lol)

The next morning, Jay was awakened by something tickling his nose. As he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, he noticed his face was buried in brown curls. A smile tugged on his lips when he remembered the activities from the night before—sex with Erin was absolutely mind melting. After falling into bed, they slept on and off, waking only to wrap themselves up in each other again. His smile grew larger when he felt Erin waking up next to him. She was already facing him and he watched her eyebrows knit together before she groaned, causing Jay to laugh.

"Good morning." He mumbled, kissing her. When he felt Erin's lips moving against his own, he deepened the kiss, his tongue exploring her mouth.

"It's a good one now." Erin laughed, trying to catch her breath after she pulled away. She rested her head against his chest, closing her eyes as she felt his thumb drawing circles onto her bare back. "We should grab breakfast or something."

Jay was just about to agree when his eyes shot open, remembering that Nana was currently staying with him. He quickly untangled himself from Erin as he searched her bedroom floor for his clothing.

"Jay? Jay, what's wrong?" There was panic in her voice as she watched him scurrying around her bedroom.

"It's nothing." He struggled to button his shirt before messily tucking it into his pants. "My Nana is probably worried sick that I didn't come home last night."

"Jay relax, you're an adult..."

"Erin, you have no idea what Nana's like." Jay let his tie hang from his neck before jamming his feet into his shiny dress shoes. "She's probably waiting on me right now." He checked his phone and cursed at himself when he noticed that it was dead. "I gotta go, I'll text you or something in a bit."

Erin sat up in her bed, confused at what had just happened. She thought their night had been great. No, it was better than great. What would've caused him to rush out on her like that? Nana couldn't be that bad, could she?

"JAMES HALSTEAD! That better be you!" Jay tried to sneak in through the door and toward his bedroom, knowing that his Nana would be pissed and awaiting his arrival.

Instead of beelining to his room, he walked into the kitchen and spotted Will innocently eating the breakfast their Nana made. He had a shit-eating grin on his face as he sipped his coffee and watched the drama unfold.

"Morning." Jay mumbled.

"Is that all you have to say for yourself?" Nana asked, a hand on her hip. His mother used to stand in a similar manner when she was scolding him. "You were gone all night and didn't call! And your phone was turned off, where were you?"

"My phone actually died." Jay stated matter-of-factly, as if that small detail mattered. "I was uh—at Erin's place… for our date."

"And what exactly were you doing there?" Will choked on the bite of pancake he had just put into his mouth, drawing both Nana and Jay's attention. "Honey, chew your food."

Jay's ears turned a bright shade of red and he could feel the blush creeping up onto his neck too. "We just…you know. Hung out."

"All night?! Who hangs out all night like that?" Nana noticed how Jay squirmed around, bouncing on his feet with a flustered expression on his face. "Oh… come and eat breakfast then, you must be starving."

This couldn't be happening. His Nana was not making him eat breakfast after sex because he 'worked up an appetite.' His brother was not shooting him a smirk knowing what he was up to last night—on his first date.

I really need to get my own place.

Quickly, he ate some of the food his grandmother had made before heading to his bedroom and plugging his phone into its charger. Making his way into the bathroom, he turned on the shower—letting it warm up—before stripping himself of his clothes. The hot water felt nice on his muscles. He was getting old. Something was always achy and he felt like his joints were getting weaker. He was only thirty-one for fuck's sake.

When he returned to his bedroom, he turned on his phone, wanting to get in contact with Erin. He realized how confused she must have been when he rushed out of the room without much of an explanation and decided that he should treat her to lunch. He couldn't wait to see her. He wanted to kiss her again and feel her skin against his and he wanted to see her dimpled smile. That smile could literally end world hunger.

J: Hey. I'm sorry about this morning. Can we meet for lunch?

As he waited for her text back, he got dressed in more casual clothes, opting for jeans and a simple black t-shirt.

E: Sure, would you like me to pick you up again?

Jay debated his answer. He had run from Erin's place back to his—which surprisingly didn't take him long—so he wouldn't mind walking back. He definitely didn't need Will or Nana seeing her again, especially with what had happened when he got home. He decided to play it safe.

J: No. Let's meet at your place. I'll see you at noon.

Jay called a taxi and made his way to Erin's place just a little before twelve o'clock. He decided that they could grab lunch at one of his favourite little restaurants down the street from her place—they had the best salads and pasta.

They sat at a table inside, deciding that the whipping wind was too cold for their liking. Erin was wearing a plaid shirt with black jeans and had a leather jacket on while Jay had thrown on a cap and a cardigan before leaving his apartment.

"So, I never got the chance to ask you last night, but what happened to your mom?" She saw Jay swallow hard before taking a deep breath. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked. You don't have to answer." Erin awkwardly stared into her salad, hoping he didn't see the embarrassment on her face.

"It's fine, Erin. It's an innocent question." Jay too looked down at his salad before putting his fork down. "It's just been a while since someone has asked." Taking another deep breath, Jay smiled as memories of his mother flashed through his mind. "She had cancer. I moved out of my house when I was eighteen and went straight to college after high school. She was the only one that really supported me and she knew how I wanted to follow in her footsteps rather than my father's. He believed in going straight to work after finishing high school but neither my brother and I did that so he was pretty pissed. Anyway about a year later she got sick—they found lumps on her tubes. Will was in New York so he couldn't be around much so I stopped going to school so I could take care of her."

Erin noticed tears pooling in Jay's eyes and all she wanted to do was wrap him up in her arms and wipe them away, but she wanted him to go on.

"Her medical bills were quite expensive. My dad's sole income wasn't enough and he spent a lot of it on alcohol and cigarettes anyway so the only way I saw to get money was the Army. I worked in the reserves for a bit but my mom's health never got any better, she was deteriorating everyday." Jay stopped talking, taking a moment to regain his composure. He cleared his throat before continuing. "When she—when she died… I fell down into a really deep hole. I was on leave from the military so I was generally just on my own. I got addicted to alcohol and drugs, it felt good at the time, helped to numb the pain." Jay paused again as images of himself strung out every night came to mind. "By the time I was supposed to be back in the Army, I had burned through all my money. I was broke. I knew that my mom would've been so pissed if she were there." Jay chuckled. "So I cleaned myself up. Just in time to be shipped overseas. My first tour was in Iraq and I did pretty well—great actually. I had the Rangers recruiting me heavily so I went on that path and did another couple of tours in Afghanistan. After that I managed to get myself back on track for school and got my education degree… It was all for her."

"Well it sounds like she'd be really proud of you." Erin moved her hand to his which was resting on top of the table and squeezed lightly. He was smiling when he looked down at their hands, she wasn't sure whether or not it was her action that caused his smile or the memories of his mother. Either way, she'd keep that smile on his face for a lifetime if she could. "When did you start working at the school?"

"Three years ago. It took a while to find something permanent after I graduated. Most of my friends left the city to seek employment elsewhere, and some of them moved onto grad school, so it was kinda lonely. But I think it was all worth it because I've got the best job possible now."

"Have you always taught Kindergarten?"

"No. I did a year of third grade and then they moved me. I'm hoping to stick with it now though, I really enjoy it." Jay grabbed his fork again and took a bite of his lunch. "So what about you? Tell me about your family life."

"Oh, it's nothing glamorous." Jay raised an eyebrow at her words. "My mom's a junkie and I honestly have no idea who my father is."

"Wait… what about that guy with the gun that came to pick up the boys one day? They called him grandpa!"

"He took me in when I was fifteen. Gave me an out." It was Erin's turn to reminisce about her life. "I was hooked on drugs when he found me. He gave me his card and told me to call him whenever I decided I wanted something better for myself. One night my mom's boyfriend came home drunk off his ass and started shouting and throwing stuff around. I packed a bag and ran out of the house when he was distracted and got to a payphone so I could call Voight. He picked me up and took me back to his house where his wife greeted me with open arms. His son, not so much, but he got over it." Erin quickly wiped a tear from her cheek when she thought about Camille and Justin. They were the best things to happen to her and remembering that they weren't here anymore—seeing her live her dream—was heartbreaking. "They sent me to private school and got me into the academy. They set me up for life, honestly. I wouldn't be here talking to you right now if it wasn't for them."

"Well then, I'm glad that they did." When Erin looked into Jay's eyes, there was passion there. Passion, and love. She'd gone on two dates with the guy but she was already feeling more than what she ever had with Kelly. That thought made her feel guilty, knowing that she wouldn't have had two of the best things in her life if it wasn't for him. But she was happier than she'd ever been in her life. With Jay.

"If you're done eating, I was wondering if you wanted to head back to my place for some coffee or something?" Erin couldn't help but notice the light and joy in Jay's eyes when she asked that question. He definitely wanted to fall into bed with her again, but Erin wanted to make sure she wasn't just dating him because he looked like a god.

"Let me just pay the bill."

Jay left Erin's place later that afternoon feeling giddy. He couldn't stop smiling no matter how hard he tried. He was a little disappointed that they didn't continue with their activities from the night before, but talking and laughing with her brought a lightness upon him. It had been a very long time since he felt this happy and he really didn't want to fuck it up.

Slowly, he made his way back to his apartment. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping and the wind had died down but it still blew through his hair a bit. He noticed all the other happy people and smiled at everyone he passed—they'd only gone on two dates and he could already feel himself falling for her. And it was all because of Erin.

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	10. Chapter 10

On Monday morning, Jay stood at his usual spot at the Kindergarten door—coffee cup in hand—smiling and greeting all of his students and their parents as they arrived. The smile that seemed to be permanently etched on his face while he was at school somehow seemed to grow even bigger when Erin walked through the door, hand-in-hand with her sons. Jay watched as they made their way to their hooks and hung up their coats and bags before changing from their outdoor shoes to their indoor ones.

"Hi!" Cameron yelled out to Jay as he approached the door.

"Hey, Cameron. Did you have a fun weekend?" Jay asked.

"Mhmm. We got to have a sleepover with Daddy!"

"I bet that was exciting, what kinds of things did you do?"

"We went to the zoo and the park and Daddy even let us have cookies before dinner! But then Jackson wasn't feeling good so we had to go see the doctor." Jay looked over to Erin who seemed to be cuddling Jackson a bit closer than usual. He made a mental note to keep a closer eye on him during the day to make sure he was okay.

"Well that's no fun, huh? Hopefully he's feeling better today. How about you go inside and start the activity I put on your desk while I talk to your Mommy?" Jay moved away from the door, allowing Cameron to walk into the classroom.

"Hey." Erin approached Jay with Jackson who clung onto her arm tightly. "He's been feeling a little sick to his stomach. I couldn't find a sitter and I'm needed at work for the morning so I just brought him. You can call me if he's not doing well, I can try to get someone to pick him up." Erin rambled.

"Erin, relax. He'll be fine." Jay reassured. "We're going to do lots of fun things and we're going to learn about colours today!" Jay raised a brow and looked down at Jackson who had a look of intrigue on his face after hearing what they'd be learning. Jay knew that Jackson had a liking for drawing and art, so learning about colours was definitely something that piqued the little boy's interest. "There's a fun colouring activity for you to do at your desk."

They both watched as Jackson walked over to his group table before taking a seat and looking at the page. His little brows furrowed in concentration as he grabbed a red crayon and started to colour the paper.

"Thanks for that, this morning was a bit rough." Erin said, sighing in relief.

"It was nothing." Jay blew off her comment as he looked Erin up and down with hungry eyes.

"By the way, I had a really great time this weekend." Erin said suddenly, heat rising into her cheeks.

Jay stepped closer and towered over her with a smirk on his face. "Oh yeah, what part?"

"Friday night wasn't too bad." Erin replied coolly, noticing the blush creeping up on his neck.

"I think that was my favourite part too." Jay chuckled. "You know, since I'm at work we gotta keep it professional."

"Is that so?"

"Mhmm. I don't know if a workplace quickie is appropriate with a bunch of five-year-olds in the next room." Jay rubbed the back of his neck, wiping the sweat that was accumulating. "But maybe I'll see you around?"

"Oh definitely."

Later that day, Erin and Kelly decided to pick up the boys together. It had been a while since they all went out and did something as a family.

They stood against the wall in the corner among all the other parents, anxiously waiting to see their boys. As soon as the bell rang, the door opened and kids rushed out of the classroom. Both the boys ran to Erin first—swarming her with hugs and kisses. Kelly stood next to her as Jackson and Cameron animatedly told her about their day and everything they painted while learning about primary colours.

When he looked up, he noticed the teacher had a look on his face. Kelly recognized that look—he'd seen it everywhere he'd gone with Erin regardless of whether they were dating or not. Kelly watched the way that this guy's eyes traveled over Erin's body and how there was a hint of a smile as he watched the boys interacting with her.

It was a look of longing. Like he wanted to be a part of that family.

When he looked over at Erin, she had a similar look in her eyes. They were bright with emotion and happiness, and Kelly somehow knew it wasn't only because she was with the kids. He hadn't seen her glow like this in so long and it sort of made him feel jealous. Jealous that he wasn't the one who could make her smile like that anymore.

Whatever was going on between them, he needed to make sure she didn't get hurt in the end.

"So what's up with you and the teacher?" Kelly asked nonchalantly as they sat in a booth. The boys were on the inside—quietly eating their ice cream—as their parents sat on the outside and sipped on coffee.

"What?" Erin choked out, looking like she was a deer caught in headlights. "Nothing." She quickly rushed out.

"Really? Because I swear I saw something there." Kelly replied, a smirk on his face. "I mean, it may have just been my imagination but I don't think so."

Erin sighed loudly as she leaned back in her seat. "We're just… friendly…"

"Hm, is that what you kids are calling it these days?" Kelly laughed as Erin shot him a dirty look and punched his shoulder lightly. "Are you happy?"

"Yeah… I am." Kelly watched as Erin took a tentative sip from her mug. "Really happy, actually."

Later that night after bathing and putting the kids to bed, Erin sat in front of her TV intending to catch up on some of her shows. With her schedule, it was difficult to watch them live so they would pile up on her TV box and whenever she would get a chunk of time, she would spend it binge watching.

Just as she got cuddled up in a blanket on the couch, she heard a soft knock on the door. Checking the time, she wondered who would be showing up at her place so late. As she made her way to the door, she looked through the apartment to see if Kelly had forgotten anything before he left but she spotted nothing. She looked through the peephole and a smile quickly spread across her lips when she saw who was standing on the other side.

When she opened the door she was greeted by Jay, standing there in his tan button down shirt and black jeans that he was wearing at work earlier that day.

"Hey, are the boys up?" He said in a way of greeting.

"No, why?"

"Good." He walked into the apartment and closed the door behind him. "Because I've wanted to do this all day." Just as he finished speaking, he grabbed her chin with his right hand and smashed his lips against hers. Her moan immediately sent blood rushing to his groin, forcing him to pick her up effortlessly and carrying her to the bedroom.

Gently laying her down, he rid himself of his clothing before straddling her. "I want this off." Jay commanded as he tugged at her shirt. "And this too." He stated, unhooking her bra.

When she was lying on the bed again—half naked—he peppered her jaw with kisses, occasionally moving down to her neck to elicit another moan. He kissed down the valley of her breasts and stopped at the hem of her sweats. Hooking his fingers into the waistband, he pushed them down her legs—along with her underwear—and let them pool at her feet before removing them.

Kissing his way back up, he paid special attention to her thighs. He had noticed how sensitive they were the other night and already knew what to do in order to drive her crazy. When she started to squirm, he gave in to her silent plea and slid his tongue up her slit. He continued his ministrations until he could see her glistening wet in the moonlight. Smiling at his work, he continued to pleasure her.

As he body started to shake, he slowed his movements, wanting to prolong her torture for as long as possible. "Not yet, Erin." Her name on his lips sent shivers up and down her spine and caused her body to erupt in goosebumps.

"Why…" She managed to croak out.

"Because then this will all be over too soon." Erin could taste herself on his lips when he moved up and kissed her softly. "And I've barely started with you."

"Hey, can we make this official?" Jay asked as they laid in bed later that night, his arms wrapped around her. It was almost midnight and Erin was almost asleep when he spoke.

"Official?"

"Mhm. Like being boyfriend and girlfriend…" Erin hesitated at his words. There was her commitment phobia again. Fuck, why do I always do this?

"Why, did you want to update your Facebook status?" Erin joked, trying to play off the long pause in between their conversation.

"No… It's just, I don't want you seeing anyone else, and I don't want to see anyone else either. I want it to be you and me. It's just a nice thought…" Jay trailed off as he sat up in bed.

"It is a nice thought." Erin said into the dark tenderly. "Well then boyfriend, where are you going?" Erin asked as he watched Jay pulling his pants back on.

"Home…"

"Aww, is Nana gonna be worried again?" Erin teased, laughing at the unimpressed look he shot her way.

"No… I just don't think the boys should find their teacher in bed with their mom yet." He said seriously as he started to button his shirt. "It would probably be a bit confusing." Jay sat back down on the edge of the bed to pull on his shoes and socks. When he finished, he leaned back and pressed a chaste kiss to her lips. "I'll see you tomorrow."

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